This blog post is something that has come from a passion, a frustration that has been growing over the last three years, maybe more. While I hadn’t always been of this mind, I once did and still do desire more than the children I have, though I have been stopped where I am by the loss of my marriage. And after three years of hearing these comments, it genuinely hurts!
When did Believers start despising children? When did we decide that children were a problem to be avoided at all costs or possibly to be managed?
I can probably hear the comments now, “We don’t despise children! We love them! They’re not a problem!” Really? Then why do we treat them as such? First of all, we treat parenting as though it is a chore to be avoided. We look upon tired parents as though they were to be pitied (though we don’t pity the hard worker when he’s tired). And I can’t tell you how many excuses I’ve heard for people not having children, but they all boil down to one main excuse, “I don’t want to sacrifice.” But, isn’t that what Jesus calls us to anyway?
“Well, yeah, so we don’t want to sacrifice, but that doesn’t mean we despise them or that we treat them like a problem!” Oh! Huh. I guess I misunderstood when I heard comments about parents of more than two children. These comments run from “Wow! You’re braver than I am!” (with an undertone of sarcasm, as if we were going to get in trouble for what we’ve done) to “Uh. You do know what causes that, right?” with that condescending tone.
It absolutely breaks my heart! First of all, how insulting is it to presume someone’s intelligence is lower (or their education level is lower) just because of their number of children! In fact, some of the wisest and most well-educated people I know have several children. But more importantly, how can someone (specifically, a Believer!) so insult God Almighty?!? How can we so effortlessly exalt ourselves to the place where the Lord is so foolish as to give someone “more children than they can handle”?
Why do we accept the world’s perspective instead of God’s? When did we forget that “children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward”? (Psalm 127:3) Do we really believe that because we found a drug that can keep a child from implanting in the womb…or keep a child from surviving if conceived…or keep our bodies from doing something they normally do…do we really believe this means that God is not in control of our fertility? Has God ceased to be on His throne because we developed “birth control”? Ask anyone who has gotten pregnant on birth control! Ask anyone who thought they charted their timing right, but ended up pregnant! You’ll find out that God is very much still in control!
Now, I know by now I’ve ruffled some feathers. So, let me stop and say what I’m not saying. I am not saying that every woman must have as many children as she can possibly have. I’m not judging or attempting to enforce how anyone should live their life! I am not even saying that, if you’re married, you have to start having kids right now! Everyone has to listen to what God has asked of them, which, just for the record, is always consistent with the Bible, His revealed Word.
What I am doing is, if you’re a believer, I am calling you to the mat! Like so many things else, turn around and choose to live the truth, that children are a blessing! If you’ve been making the condescending comments, knock it off! Rejoice with your brothers and sisters who have been so blessed by God. It’s no different from rejoicing with someone who was blessed with a lot of money, a large ministry, miraculous healing, etc. Rejoicewith them! Don’t begrudge them the joys of their blessings.
But also, don’t be surprised if they’re tired! Ministry takes effort, healing often doesn’t come without effort, and on it goes. Why are we surprised when a parent is tired? Why would we blame their blessings for their tiredness rather than it being a normal course of life? Should we condemn the hardworking fellow for being tired at the end of a long day? It just seems ludicrous; submit to God and rejoice with your brothers and sisters in their children, be it one child or 20!
And I will encourage you, if you’ve been fighting against having kids, let go of your fears and accept the responsibility! Get real with God about your fears and concerns and let Him work on your heart in the ways He sees fit! I’ve been in your shoes. Long before I ever had my children, long before I was ever married, I thought children were just so difficult and that people should be “responsible” and “not bring a life into this world you can’t provide for” and all the other clichés we love to quote! But when I got married, my then-wife challenged me to rethink birth control and children. I chose to trust God in when and how many children I would have, and He has never failed me, though I do sometimes wish I could have had more children.
Lastly, I want to encourage every married couple out there that there are many children who need good homes via adoption! Even if you have your own, there are blessings to be given and received through adoption. I would be remiss if I did not mention this in the midst of speaking about children as blessings.
This posting is somewhat of a response posting but not really. The other day, a friend of mine posted on her blog regarding contentment. In relation to that, she made the point of being content in the Lord alone. Here I stand very much with her! We are to remain content in all things, as Paul says in Philippians 4:11b-13,
“for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”
But, it did ring a bell in me. I’ll open up a little bit. I’m a single Dad, and one of the greatest pains in my life is vacancy in my and my children’s lives of a wife/mother. It is something I have brought before God several times. As I consider that desire within me to see that place filled (pardon my candor, but I don’t know how to say this in this context without it sounding a little sterile), I am more interested in serving my God, the Almighty Creator of all things. But does this desire make me less content with God? This has been the question I have been wrestling with after my friend’s post; to be fair, she did not leave this question out of her post. Rather, her post was on a different topic and this one spun up in my mind!
I begin with the question, is it wrong to desire a wife? As Julie Andrews might say, “Let’s start the very beginning, a very good place to start…” 😉 Genesis 2:18,
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’”
Shortly after God has completed creating man, has commissioned what man can and cannot do, and before He declares that day’s work as “good” (note that God declares the creation “good” after He has created both male AND female genders), He makes a statement that it is not good for man to be ALONE! Does this necessarily mean a wife? No, but in the context, it certainly sells itself that way. After all, what is God’s solution? He makes man a friend… Oh! No. He makes a woman for man! Va-va-voom! =)
“But Ben, this was the first of mankind! You can’t use this as your entire basis!”
Yes and no. I can use this as the basis to say that my desire for a wife is not inappropriate. It is not wrong. The better assertion is the question: where does this leave us? Am I to burn in my desire for a wife? In short, NO!
Let’s take a look at Ecclesiastes 4:9-12,
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”
You see, loneliness does not have to be resolved by friendship with the opposite gender, and, I think any reasonable person will agree, it should NOT be resolved exclusively that way. Men need to befriend men, and women need to befriend other women. Older men and women need to befriend younger men and women to help those young men grow up in the Lord. Younger men and women need to befriend older men and women to have that same mentorship in the Lord. Therefore, each man and woman should have friends older, equal to, and younger than themselves for good balance and proper growth in the Kingdom of Christ; older teaching the younger and the peers encouraging all along.
Some will now even go so far as to cite 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul makes the case that, if you can, then you should not get married! To these I say, fair enough! Paul argues in this passage (which I’m not quoting here for brevity-sake) that we are to do what will make us the most free to serve God! In many cases, this means people should stay single. However, Paul makes a point that it is, as I said above, about being the most free to serve God.
Has God put marriage on your heart? Has God put singleness on your heart? Are you willing to submit either one before Him? Are you willing to lay down your desire for His best?
For me, I can honestly say yes! I know that within myself, I am willing to, and daily do, lay down my desire for a wife and a step-mother for my children in favor of His best and whatever He wants to do in my life. After all, everything that I do ripples out to others. Perhaps, if I were to take a wife, others in my life would be negatively affected by that. Perhaps, if my children were to have a step-mother, some work God is affecting in their lives would be thwarted! And, perhaps it is simply that God wants me to learn to trust Him above anything else in this world! And, frankly, it could be none of these!
“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days, that you may live in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.” Deuteronomy 30:19-20
Somewhere in the past, I got the impression that suffering was bad. I won’t lay the blame anywhere particular because, frankly, I don’t really remember. Still, what I do remember are these.
I remember my late father discussing with me the consideration of other people’s opinions and using those opinions as a gauge for whether I was doing the right thing or not. I can guarantee that he didn’t mean for me to end up being a people-pleaser, but such is the warp of our sin-ravaged, imperfect memories and hearings. I remember hymns like “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” and various sermons on the blessings of God, the blessings of following God, the glories of Heaven, etc. Somewhere in the midst of all these messages, I got the idea that life should be peachy-easy. Furthermore, I grew up in the Socialist State of California which seems to also provided subliminal advertising for this concept.
With all of that said, I don’t think I was all that different from many in how I avoided trials and suffering like cancer. They were boils and dangers which I did not want, nor should I endure. The problem with that is it conflicts with the truth. After all, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials” (James 1:2) is no simple passage to overlook. I remember, as a teen, wondering, “What? Consider it joy? How the heck? What kind of whacked out psycho do you have to be to consider pain, heartbreak, disaster, terror to be JOYFUL?????” Seriously, it’s upside down…or is it?
In my walk with God, I find that He particularly enjoys the reality of paradoxes. So, maybe this idea of rejoicing in the midst of a trial is upside-down, from a perspective. Consider that most of what God has revealed is upside-down from how the world would present things. Examples: to be the greatest, you must serve the most; the last shall be first; esteem others as greater than yourself. These are all common themes in Jesus teachings, thus a revelation of God’s character (since Jesus was God). So, it is likely that even though it seems upside down, it really is right side up.
With all that in mind, let’s look at Jeremiah 18. While I am not going to show you every verse, I highly encourage you to read the whole chapter. In Jeremiah 18:3-12:
“Then I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was, making something on the wheel. But the vessel that he was making of clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter; so he remade it into another vessel, as it pleased the potter to make.
Then the word of the Lord came to me saying, ‘Can I not, O house of Israel, deal with you as this potter does?’ declares the Lord. ‘Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel. At one moment I might speak concerning a nation or concerning a kingdom to uproot, to pull down, or to destroy it; if that nation against which I have spoken turns from its evil, I will relent concerning the calamity I planned to bring on it. Or at another moment I might speak concerning a nation or concerning a kingdom to build up or to plant it; if it does evil in My sight by not obeying My voice, then I will think better of the good with which I had promised to bless it. So now then, speak to the men of Judah and against the inhabitants of Jerusalem saying, “Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I am fashioning calamity against you and devising a plan against you. Oh turn back, each of you from his evil way, and reform your ways and your deeds.’” But they will say, “It’s hopeless! For we are going to follow our own plans, and each of us will act according to the stubbornness of his evil heart.”’”
Did you catch that? God is saying He is going to bring the hardships. Wait, wait, wait…isn’t God all good and jolly and peaches-and-cream? LOL! In a manner of speaking, no! God is all good! This I will not even debate here. He is good! And, I reckon, He is jolly plenty of the time, but He is also Righteous, Just, and True. And most of all, He’s a parent!
(Specifically, God reveals Himself as our Father, which carries with it some important connotations that I won’t cover here. However, since God is rather asexual, I’m not going to get into the debate of father/mother or otherwise. Further, since most here have had their share of either a bad father or a bad mother, I’m dispensing with the label for the time being.)
So, what am I getting at? Well, think of it from the perspective of a tutor or parental situation. If when you’ve been trying to teach someone something, you have to start with some basics, right? It might even be more appropriate to think of it from a military standpoint. (We’re all different, so God will use what is most native to us, even if we don’t recognize that ourselves.) In the case of the military, one must be broken, in a sense. The soldier must be taught to trust his commander and his fellow soldiers without a second thought. Distrust must be the secondary thought, not the primary, as it is with most people.
In a similar way, as parents, we must train our children to trust us and to follow our command immediately. After all, if they cannot follow our command to stop as it relates to almost dropping something, then we leave them vulnerable to being hurt when we or others yell stop to keep them from being hit by a car! It is these connective tissues in life that, I think, show us glimpses of the Divine Image in ourselves. God, like a parent, seeks to save us from the oncoming car and His cries to us must be heeded immediately just the same, be it an oncoming vehicle or simply to keep us from spilling our water.
So, what does this have to do with trials or even tribulations? Much, in every way! As Paul puts it, trials/tribulations are the opportunity for us to “work out [our] own salvation” (Philippians 2:12). They are an opportunity for us to learn obedience in a way that we otherwise would not.
An analogy I’m fond of is that trials are the work-outs for the Believer. And they do work us out! They make us use Scripture to combat doubt, disbelief, pride, and plain evil. This is why Paul explains that “we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:3b-5) Trials are the opportunity for us to grow, to tone our faith and not become flabby Christians.
If you’ve ever gone through a fitness plan or other workout, you understand that what you consume has a massive impact on how fit you can be and what you are able to accomplish at the gym. Too many carbs and you’ll burn out, maybe get some muscle, but ultimately gain weight. Too much fat and you’ll burn out and definitely gain weight, with almost no muscle. Too much protein and your body can become clogged with the excess, causing you more problems. But in the proper balance, these foods provide wonderful power! Still, with no use of that power, the body fades and weight gain is inevitable. With proper fitness, the body becomes strong, capable of handling more tasks and tougher activities than ever before. The body becomes capable of responding faster and with more force to all manner of situations inside and outside of the body. The effect of fitness is incredible.
And this concept translates further into the question of temptation and trials that seem more than we can bear. Paul exhorts us that, “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13) Fitness is nothing new. Most anyone in the world can perform some level of fitness. So it is with temptation; it’s nothing new! But here is the cool part; God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able.
When I was in my weight loss program, I had the honor of being trained by a personal friend, a man whom I greatly respected (partly because of his physical fitness). He knew what I could take (or close thereto). More accurately, X knew what I could NOT take. But there were plenty of times when I was lifting or pushing myself in fitness that I would begin to wane, thinking I couldn’t hold or make it through the set. I clearly remember X’s voice holler, “Come on! One more! One MORE!” I’d hear the command, and my entire body would respond with an extra bit of force as my will and body aligned to conform to my trainer’s will. I didn’t think I could handle it, but my trainer was wiser! Moreover, X knew that if he did not push me, I wouldn’t get any further than where I was, and I would likely become worse. If we never push beyond what we “feel” capable of, our bodies will typically begin to deteriorate, leaving us less capable than ever before.
In the same way, God is our ultimate Trainer. He stands there as we begin to cry, “I can’t do it!” He hollers at us, “Come on! One more! One MORE!” However, the outcome is sort-of dependent on us. Will we align our brains with our bodies and conform to our Trainer’s will? Or will we stifle our brain, weaken our body, and resist His will? If we can muster the extra strength to push once more, we will find a renewed strength that was waiting for such a moment as this. The real outcome of such training is dependent on God, but we must submit ourselves before Him.
In that same thought of submission, if we get full of ourselves, thinking we can take on more than He has asked, we will push too far and hurt ourselves. We must consistently listen to the Trainer to know when to push and when to stop. It is this process of pushing and submitting that builds our Spiritual muscles, “perseverance”. Over time, the weight sets go up, we get tougher, leaner, and we grow stronger muscles which will result in “proven character”.
The more I read the Bible, the more I find a tight connection between the rules of this world and the rules of the Spiritual world. I dare not consider them the same or believe that this world could exist apart from the Spiritual, but the incredible similarities between physical fitness and Spiritual fitness are, to me, striking!
More potent than even that is the relationship that God builds with us through trials. I will never forget my friend X, who is now in Heaven, because of the love he put into my training. When another hurdle had been overcome, X was there to rejoice with me. And as each pound came off, I knew that X was proud to see me become what he knew I could be! Even in the same way, God knows us better than X could ever know me (even if he’d been my own kin). He knows what we can be put through, what He has planned “for those who love Him” and what we are capable of when He gets us through whatever hurdle is ahead. The relationship we build with Him during these times when we must trust Him, lean on Him, and put our full effort into focusing on Him to make it through a day, that relationship is unparalleled, except, perhaps, by a husband and wife who travail together to achieve that goal together!
And for any of you who are reading this without a relationship with my Lord, the Almighty. He is not sitting idly by in your life either! He is pushing you, less from within “the gym” and more from outside it. He is placing obstacles in your life to get your attention, longing to spend the time training you, knowing what you are capable of if you’ll only train under Him and build that relationship. And like physical training, you don’t have to do it! But you will find that your life is not what it could be, even if it’s awesome in your own eyes. And, one day, you’ll find yourself faced with eternity; choose today whether you desire to have Jesus as your Trainer and Advocate.
I leave this post with one of my favorite contemporary songs today. Sung by the group Kutless, it is an honest statement of faith that, paraphrased, says, “Regardless of what I see, I will believe the truth!” Our eyes and emotions can deceive us, but if we spend time and know the One who saves us, we are never lost! He will always lead us!
I know that many people may be posting this, but I had never really read this before. So, I am posting for you all that you may be as blessed as I by a Presidential acknowledgement of God Almighty. Let no one deceive you any further; this nation of the United States of America has Christian beginnings, Christian underpinnings, and Biblical principles by which it was founded and through which we have our Constitution (beaten and downtrodden though it is).
And without further ado, the 1863 proclamation by former-President Abraham Lincoln:
Proclamation of Thanksgiving*
Washington, D.C.
October 3, 1863
The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.
In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.
Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.
No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People.
I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.
In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.
Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.
By the President: Abraham Lincoln
William H. Seward,
Secretary of State
May God shed His blessings and grace on this nation in the coming year, and may we no longer kindle His wrath while His mercy holds us from destruction. Let us be thankful and blessed by a right relationship with the Sovereign Lord, through His Son’s sacrifice and resurrection. Have a Blessed and Safe Thanksgiving all!
Forgiveness. That’s a tough word these days. There are so many in our world now that don’t care for the rights and dignity of others. Instead, people are trampled underfoot like paper bags so that another may succeed in a particular venture, even if it’s just getting a TV set or a position in line.
So, I was pondering today….nah nah nah. Let me give some background. (Yes, I will interrupt myself like that, and let you see my thoughts. I find it engaging when I read, so I figure others might find it engaging as well! =D)
I have a particular person in my life whose life choices have the consistent occasion to intersect with mine. (Yes, some of you know whom I’m talking about.) This person’s life choices are not very healthy as far as how they affect others, since I will not judge this person’s actions explicitly. Consequently, my sinful side (aka my “flesh”) is constantly trying to plant a tree of bitterness in the garden of my life. I REFUSE TO LET THAT TREE GROW!
And it is with all that sitting on me, as today’s intersecting events pushed me into yet another corner, that I began to ponder the words of Jesus of Nazareth, the Christ/Messiah. In Matthew 18, Jesus is posed with the question I think so many of us would ask, if it hadn’t already been asked! LOL!
Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” – Matthew 18:21-22
Ok. For a little bit of context, I’m going to delve into a bit of some patterns. I’m a patterns guy and that’s how I tend to process my world. When we see seven in the Bible, it often (NOT ALWAYS!) represents a number of completion, more specifically the rest with the completion; six days of creation and God rested on the seventh, the year of Jubilee (Leviticus 25) came after seven periods of seven years, every seventh year the land was to be given a break from farming, etc. God used this number in many places as a point of rest and a point of completion.
But what about seventy? Is that something important? Ha ha ha! I am SO glad you asked!
70 has denotations of wholeness; the 70 “persons of the house of Jacob” who went into Egypt (Genesis), 70 days of mourning for Joseph’s death (Genesis), 70 leaders over Israel (Exodus and Isaiah), and some of the enslavements of Israel (Isaiah, Jeremiah). But today, I’m pushing toward a more clear reference; Daniel 9.
Seventy weeks are determined
For your people and for your holy city,
To finish the transgression,
To make an end of sins,
To make reconciliation for iniquity,
To bring in everlasting righteousness,
To seal up vision and prophecy,
And to anoint the Most Holy. – Daniel 9:24
And as Daniel goes on, we see these seventy years are divided into 7 weeks, then 62 weeks, and a final week. Now, we could go on to a whole other discussion on this, but rather than getting into the numbers, I want to look at the whole. If you read Daniel 9, you’ll see that Messiah was prophesied to come and be “cut off” in the 69th week. Therefore, anyone who then understood or now understands that Jesus (Yeshua) of Nazareth is the Messiah can see His appearance as being in the 69th “week”. (It’s worth noting here that these “weeks” are not literal 7 day periods. It is clearly noted in Daniel, if you read carefully, that these are representative periods of time wherein each day is a year as seen clearly.)
So, here we are again, with Jesus in the 69th week, knowing that the 70th week will not come until the end of all time. And someone asks about forgiveness. What does Jesus respond? “Hmm…well, you should forgive them until they have offended you some categorically big number that you will never possibly count to, especially if you take 1 Corinthians 13 (which has yet to be written by a man named Saul/Paul) and you don’t keep a record of the wrongs…..” {deep sucking breath} No. He doesn’t do that!
Reading Matthew 18 again, His reply is:
Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” – Matthew 18:21-22
He points directly at Daniel! He says that we are to forgive until the end of all things! We don’t just forgive until the offense is over, but we forgive until the end of all times, until Christ returns!
OOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHH!!! I don’t know about you, but it is hard for me to continually forgive sometimes. I get wounded, and it feels like I’m being slaughtered to just keep forgiving. But the reality is that forgiveness can be healing because it forces us into a new perspective.
“Whoa, Ben! A new persepective?!? Pain is pain!”
Yeah. Pain is painful. This is true! But have you ever loved something so dearly that you were willing to endure some great amount of pain to see blessing and turnaround in that person’s life? If you haven’t, then I encourage you to purpose yourself to do so with wisdom Such love does not come because you stumbled onto it; it comes from purposed action to show love amidst pain. This love is only possible through true humility. When you realize that the pain another has caused you is no worse than the pain you have caused others, forgiveness begins to flow.
Think of it in the way that Jesus explained,
Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
“But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” – Matthew 18:23-35 (emphasis mine)
Take a look at those numbers! The calculations I can find show that 1 talent would be worth about 16 years of average wages (think minimum wage), whereas 1 denarius was a day’s wage. So, 10,000 talents (60,000,000 denarii) would be 160,000 YEARS of minimum wage labor. 100 days work versus 160,000 years! But look further! The Master SELLS the man, his family, and their property. This man will be working through the rest of his life, but he’ll, at least, have his life, and very possibly with his family! But the man throws his fellow servant in jail!
Wow! If I am unwilling to forgive a little thing (a hundred days wages) that my brother or sister has done to me, how can I expect God to be willing to forgive all the crud (more than I could ever work off in a hundred lifetimes) I throw at Him? But before I leave this point to settle in, God isn’t passive! He doesn’t wait for US to forgive before forgiving us. He forgives us, sets the example, and then asks us to FOLLOW Him! How cool! How incredible! The One who was given the MOST hurt, stands before us and says, “I forgive you, forgive others as I have forgiven you!”
I don’t know about you, but I am supremely blessed by that reality! As a recovering perfectionist, it’s nice to know that my Father doesn’t expect me to be perfect, but to follow Him as He TEACHES me what’s perfect. I am a student; I am a disciple of the Christ!
Through Nerdy Lenses - Random Musings 